Review of Machete Kills (2013) by Lane Z — 21 Nov 2013

There is a certain lunacy that comes with watching Robert Rodriguez films. First, take out almost all the plot making sense. Second, expect over-the-top violence and acting. Lastly, make sure you see these films at an Alamo Drafthouse or in any other comparable venue to get the full experience.

Machete was a fun movie. Danny Trejo might be the best Mexican killer on the planet, but the way he portrays Machete makes me feel like he's having the most fun when he flat out doesn't give a damn. It's just funny to see him act without a care in the world and then turn right around and kill everything with passion to save the world.

I'll go down the list of characters worth their money in this film which should help you in the review.

Trejo - Classic.

Rodriguez - Brief and beautiful. Underused.

Heard - Gorgeous and a little fake with the accent.

Vergara - Perfectly overplayed.

Sheen - Goofy and ridiculous.

Lady Gaga - Boring.

Banderas - Meh.

Alba - Meh.

Bichir - The best acting job in the film.

Hudgens - DEFINITELY not used enough.

Vega - More please.

Gooding Jr - Not used enough.

Sadler - Same as the first.

Gibson - I just can't watch him in films anymore.

Goggins - Gotta have more Goggins.