Review of Machete Kills (2013) by Lonewanderer — 04 Nov 2013

THE most badass movie of 2013! I loved every minute of it! Basic plot is that Machete is now going after a nutjob who wants to nuke the world. Standard Grindhouse plot but oh does it set up for what could be THE BEST SEQUEL EVER!

PROS:

+Danny Trejo is once again AWESOME as Machete and this time is giving some more lines to say.

(EX: Machete Don't Tweet---No One Knows Machete).

+Charlie Sheen (Credited as Carlos Estvez, his real name) plays a REALLY good President of USA.

+Lady Gaga can ACTUALLY act! AND she is dressed normal! No meat dress, no bubble dress, just a standard dress.

+Marko Zarzor as the body guard...oh my god can this guy fight and kick!

+The two helicopter kills.

+Madame Desdemona (played by Sofía Vergara) is on crazy SOB! Her weapons include a TEC-9, her "Double D's" (which have to be seen to believe!), and the Robert Rodriguez famous "Crotch Rocket Pistol".

+Alexa Vega returns and BOY did she change!

+Two of THE most badass machetes out there: A Three bladed one and one I won't DARE spoil!

+Mel Gibson.

+A Cameo by a certain "Star Trek" AND "Star Wars" item.

+A couple cool twists (One you see coming and a few you don't).

+The Molecular Disrupter Pistol. Probably the GORIEST weapon I've seen in any movie!

+The Border Patrol Returns in one of the funniest scenes in the film!

CONS:

-Antonio Banderas is only in the film for a few minutes or so.

- La Camaleón, while a interesting concept, is sorta lame at points.

-The Flamethrower aftermath (I thought the burns on the face would've been more server).

-Madame Desmonda and her girls disappear after a car chase.

-Tom Savini's cameo is.....