Review of Machete (2010) by Tim S — 29 Nov 2011

I was looking forward to Robert Rodriguez's big screen adaptation of his Grindhouse fake trailer classic Machete when it was first announced. I didn't care much for the idea of all of the big name actors and cameos, but I let that pass.

Another Robert Rodriguez action movie would be a lot of fun, right? Sad to say, it's not what I had hoped it would be. For starters, it's stuffed full of a convulted story that winds up being boring with the action taking a backseat, all in an effort just to incorporate footage from the trailer to make the trailer itself legit.

Some might say that a poor story, dialogue and everything else is just what's necessary in order to recreate the Grindhouse feel of the movies it borrows its tone and style from, but I can't get behind that idea when most of the effects and action are done with modern techniques.

There is so much CGI in this that it's unbelievable. I expected to see loads of fake blood, pyrotechnics and prosthetics, but instead I got really bad CGI shots of a machete going through Steven Seagal, faux gun fire in every direction, or even computer-generated blood squirting all over the place.

That doesn't impress or delight me because I know it was done on a computer, so it has no value. So overall, I found the film to be quite boring and untrue to its own ideals. I've read that sequels are in the works and maybe they can do something a bit more creative the next time around, but I kind of doubt it.

The bottom line here is that if you like movies about action with not much action in them or movies with bloodshed that isn't practical, you'll enjoy Machete. As for me, I'll continue to expect something with a little bit more put into it than that.