Review of Little Monsters (1989) by Jake D — 28 Nov 2008

This evening my friend Mike almost known as Merlin and I were pounding beers to our heads and enjoying Little Monsters.

Yes we were enjoying it, I believe, and I think most of you will agree that Little Monsters gets you drunker.

The most bad ass thing in this movie is when Daniel Stern shows up wearing goofy looking glasses and then turns out to be a dick, playing against type - finally!

This almost gave me a mad boner but I sadly, it did not.

I later got a boner from the red headed teen girl, who likes plants - this is because one day I plan to be a horticultrist... so my boner rating for this movie is 1 and 1/2 boners.

Mike however gives this movie a boner rating of zero, stating "It's a good movie, but it didn't give me any boners." Mike usually gets boners from speical effect driven masterpieces like the drama filled Armegeddon starring an aging but totally sexy Bruce Willis.

All in all Fred Savage is not boner worthy in this movie, or are many of his co-stars.

The kid who plays Ronnie Coleman in this movie, will call him Chubs McFarts, destroyed a best supporting actor nod, at best.

This movie is great for a night of drinking beers with a friend and a small dog who also likes beer.

This movie is not good on dates, because if the girl isn't attractive and you want to get a boner to have sexual intercourse with her - the movie won't give you that extra boner drive to actually go through with it.

This movie won't cure your cancer, like other movies - mostly starring Val Kilmer.

Also turn the sound off of this movie, and play Michael Jackson or Huey Lewis instead. It makes for hilarty - please be drunk.

I call this a twelve pound beer masterpiece...