Review of Life of Crime (2013) by Sean P — 24 May 2015

The plan was simple, kidnap a rich suburban woman, while her husband and son are out of town. The husband is corrupt, so he will be more than willing to pay a ransom, in order to keep them quiet, and to get his wife back, right? This group of bumbling, life-long criminals thought they had it all figured out, except for one small problem, Frank Dawson (Tim Robbins) isn't really interested in getting his wife back.

This strange film, based on the novel, Switch by Elmore Leonard, takes place in the late 70's, and had critics raving, but after seeing it for myself, I'm left with one question, why? After the kidnapping takes place, the film moves at a snails pace, with criminals arguing, and phone calls back and fourth, nothing happens for the majority of the film.

Jennifer Aniston stars and gives probably the worst performance I've ever seen her give. She is this spoiled, whiny, rich bitch, who just doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut. It really got to the point where every time she spoke I cringed.

On the other hand, Tim Robbins, who plays her husband, was hilarious, but not in the film nearly enough. One of my favorite young actors, Charlie Tahan, also has a role in the film, as their son. In the brief amount of screen time he has, we see a very troubled and confused kid, an angle that could have helped the story, but he too was hardly used.

The majority of the film features Jennifer Aniston interacting with her kidnappers and trying to form a bond with the bumbling idiots. I'm not sure if this was supposed to be a comedy or just a comedy of errors wrapped up in a dramatic theme, but either way it doesn't work.

Most of the cast is absolutely horrible, the majority of the film is unbelievably slow, and the parts that aren't, just don't make a whole lot of sense. Life of Crime had quite a few side stories that could have been utilized to fill up the space and break up the monotony, but it was all left on the cutting room floor, leaving us with a film that could be used as a method of torture at Guantanamo Bay.