Review of Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009) by Jos . — 06 Apr 2009

Ummm.

Don't ask me why I saw this. I might regret having to justify myself.

It is quite clearly cashing in on the success of the far superior Shaun of the Dead - and not only does it preserve the laddish duo from it, and open with a coarse pub scene, it even goes so far as to mimick the rapid editing techniques, and the habit of overlaying titles on backgrounds, from it.

The trouble is, that in Lesbian Vampire Killers, the CG characters are better actors than the real ones, and the script is in drastic need of a rewrite. There are one or two set-ups here that could have been funny. But they aren't because the script opts for courseness and wordiness, where subtlety and stunned quietness would have worked better.

What I couldn't work out for the longest time was why the man near me was laughing his butt off for most of the film. He was the only one in the theatre who actually laughed at any time during the proceedings. At first I thought he was the writer or director of this travesty. But then I noticed the empty whisky bottle.

Still, even if totally rat-faced, I cannot imagine finding this remotely funny.

One of the best lines in it comes from a secondary character, who when discovered to be having an affair by hie wife, says:

In my defence, I didn't want you to find out.

Says it all.