Review of Les Misérables (2012) by Patrick K — 03 Apr 2014

'I dreamed a dream' about a musical with Catwoman in 19th Century France bellowing out this ballad:

There was a time when a Wolverine was kind.

When his voice was soft.

And his words conniving...

There was a time when Gladiator died.

And the movie was a song.

And the song was excruciating.

There was a time...

Then it all went wrong.

I dreamed a dream in time gone by.

When Oscar hope was high.

And a film worth rating.

I dreamed that Anne would never die.

I dreamed that credits would be appearing.

When I was typing and unafraid.

And stars were made and used and wasted.

There was no pre-rehearsal to be paid.

No song unsung, no wine, untasted.

But the Soldiers come at night.

With their cannons loud as thunder.

As they tear your hope apart.

And they turn your dream to shame.

I slept a lot with Kiki by my side.

I filled my mind with endless wonder.

I took my reviewer duties in stride.

But I was gone when Russell Crowe sang!

I had a dream this movie would be.

So different from this hell I'm living.

So different from what it seemed...

Now Hugh Jackman has killed the dream I dreamed.

Grade: C+.