Review of Legend (1985) by Neal B — 23 Apr 2009

Princess Lily: Are you afraid to kiss me, Jack?

Jack: I'm afraid you'll break my heart.

Princess Lily: Then still your heart, for you are dear to me.

A pretty lame fantasy film that unfortunately wastes its very good production values. I'm a big fan of Ridley Scott, but his work here places style over substance in a way that leads to a very non-entertaining feature.

The story is pretty standard, set in a magical land, a force of evil works to take over. A young Tom Cruise and his band of friends that include some little people, an overdubbed little boy, and a fairy look to stop this evil force, as well as rescue a princess who is at least partly responsible for the problems to begin with. Magical adventures and hijinks ensue.

I was very much tempted to turn this film off at several points, with only the promise of a villainous Tim Curry keeping me going. The whole film is such a bland watch. Only the activity happening on the dark side seemed interesting. Cruise and his band of merry men just bored me. Mia Sara as the princess was also bothersome, with her desire to sing only pushing me to want to turn it off sooner.

The set design, makeup, and costumes certainly show that a lot of work was done to make the film look good, but having watched Blade Runner within the same week, one can certainly see how this film just doesn't do a good job of balancing out its production design with an intriguing story.

There are better fantasy flicks than this one, more specifically there are better 80s fantasy flicks than this.

Meg Mucklebones: What a fine fat boy you are, Jack!

Jack: You don't really mean to eat me, do you, ma'am?

Meg Mucklebones: Oh, indeed I do!

[cackles].

Jack: That would be a shame because someone as fair and lovely as yourself, Miss Meg, deserves far better than scrawny me. Don't you think?

Meg Mucklebones: Think me fair, do you, Jack?

Jack: All the heavenly angels must envy your beauty.

Meg Mucklebones: [cackles] What a fine meal you'll make, be the rest of you as sweet as your tongue!