Review of Land of the Lost (2009) by Celeste R — 30 Jul 2013

"Land of the Lost" is a juvenile comedy that has some genuinely good things in it, but there's nowhere near enough to make the movie bearable. A large portion of the film feels like it was slapped together to generate profits based solely on the somewhat familiar name "Land of the Lost" (this being a loose film adaptation of the television show) and the star of the movie, Will Ferrel. The movie follows Rick Marhsall, a paleontologist who's fallen on hard times because of his theories on parallel universes. On a particularly rough day a fan of his theories, Holly Cantrell (Anna Friel), approaches him. The two build a makeshift device that will help them detect tachyon energy and find portals to other dimensions, the nearest one being in a laughably bad tourist trap owned by Will Stanton (Danny McBride). The three adults get teleported to a world where time and space collide. A world filled with dinosaurs, giant animals, cave people, aliens and deadly insects. They meet Cha-Ka (Jorma Taccone), an ape-like ancestor of man and adopt him as their guide to this dangerous land. The group of misfits uncover a sinister plot that could spell doom for all mankind and will have to dodge attacks from a scorned Tyrannosaurus named Grumpy, foil the alien doomsday plot, survive the Land of the Lost and find a way to get back home in one piece.

A lot of the movie feels like Ferrel is doing the same old shtick, except instead of being a loveable goofball, or a dimwitted but earnest professional, he comes off as totally unlikeable. The opening scene of the film shows that the man has wasted 50 million of the United States taxpayer's dollars and shown no results for them whatsoever. Despite the fact that yes, the man is right and that there are parallel dimension he comes off as an idiot. The running joke with his character is that he is consistently wrong about everything makes you feel like if the resources dedicated to this fool's research had been given to anyone else, the human race would benefit greatly. Marshall and the other characters in the movie have no defining characteristics aside from their physical appearance and a couple of running jokes. Chaka is hairy, horny and speaks in mumbo jumbo. Holly is knowledgeable in a way that is totally unrealistic and is otherwise defined by the fact that she's a woman. Her scientific knowledge feels more like a plot device because it's doubtful that even the brightest scientific minds and the most knowledgeable paleontologists would be able to easily translate the unwritten, primitive language of cave men after only a few minutes of meeting a specimen. Most of the jokes centered around Holly are based on the fact that she is constantly being groped by the male characters. There is even a scene where she shortens her pants to turn them into short shorts for no reason whatsoever other than to show more skin. The last human character Will is also horny and is knowledgeable about nothing, so he's basically a re-tread of Cha-Ka. The last major characters are the villains. The alien (who's identity I can't reveal because of spoilers) has no personality whatsoever and is just out to take over the world because the plot demands an antagonist and because apparently being stuck on a strange world populated by carnivorous dinosaurs and giant insects wasn't enough incentive to get our characters to look for a way back home. The one character that is actually interesting and funny is Grumpy the Tyrannosaurus who is actually very intelligent and gets offended by Rick when they first meet.

The gags are your typical stoner jokes, feature characters yelling and screaming a lot and feel like they're padding out the movie more than anything else. This movie is meant to be a comedy the fact that most of the movie's jokes are predictable means that you'll often find your mind wandering and asking questions about the film, instead of laughing. There are no real answers to these questions either so they come off as leaps of logic or plot holes more than comedic setups. For example, if this "Land of the Lost" is a separate dimension, one where time and space collide, how is it possible that a fossilized imprint from this place finds itself on earth? How are the Sleestaks, the reptilian aliens getting ready to invade Earth supposed to pose a threat to the human population when they possess little physical strength, limited intelligence and can be easily defeated by a couple of regular civilians? How did the Tyrannosaurus, a creature that lived millions of years before humans even existed understand English and know what a walnut is? Well ok, that last one you can forgive because it's actually funny but how about this, why does the council of skulls simply stop talking when the greatest criminal they have ever known show up? Why would any animal lay its eggs on strategically placed pillars of stone just a few feet above an active volcano? Sure, some of the questions you start asking will be simple nitpicks, but as the pile of problems just keeps growing and growing, you realize that there is simply no logic to the movie whatsoever and the stakes disappear completely.

Granted, the film isn't actually completely bad. The special effects are pretty good, and there are some funny parts spread throughout the movie. The Tyrannosaurus for example, always brightens up the film when it shows up and despite having no dialogue whatsoever it feels like the creature has a genuine personality. The sets look pretty good too and there's a nice variety of creature seen in the film. If you don't mind seeing Will Ferrel do the same old thing again you might actually enjoy the film but there's nothing here that will make the film memorable. The bottom line is that "Land of the Lost" just feels like one of the lesser Will Ferrel comedies, one with a few shining moments but really not enough laughs to warrant a watch. (Dvd, May 2013).