Review of Kung Fu Yoga (2017) by Dyna B — 15 Oct 2017

A perfect spin-off to Indiana Jones.

Kung Fu Yoga is a 2017 film.

The plot centres around Professor Jack "Short Round" Chan, played by Jackie Chan. He is with a krach team of archaeologists is searching the world for treasures, just like his mentor, Indiana Jones.

The film opens up with a video game. and at that point, you'll immediately notice how if you'll excuse my french, how gosh darn amazing the CGI is.

Truth be told the CGI was so amazing I kinda stopped paying attention for the next 15 minutes of the film where it became live action, which looked oddly worse than the CGI.

The film takes you to the Himalayan Snow, where they hijack a high-tech ice drill in order to get to the treasure, from that point they get into a hardcore fight scene with some Indian kid. This shows you how highly anticipated and awesome the fight scenes are, every punch was so convincing I could genuinely feel them.

After that fight, Jackie Chan for some reason goes solo down into the icy water, he drowns horribly.

The rest of the film is set before that, in multiple other countries, such as Iraq, India, and somewhere else probably.

Many notable scenes are a car chase involving a real Lion in the back of one of the real cars, it's remarkable that nobody died!

A scene where a couple horribly gets mauled by Hyena's, in this scene, in particular, it really shows how much perfection there is in the acting.

Once the film travels to India, the film completely jumps the shark, but in such a way that it makes the film completely better.

They genuinely say that magic is real, during a fight scene, there is a man standing on a pole, they remove the pole and he is still in the air.

Two people even die during this fight, a man is bitten to death by snakes, another one gets his face engulfed in flames, this film really shows how cruel the world can be to mankind.

Truth be told I've been procrastinating a lot during this in-depth review, I've kinda forgotten what happens next. oh yeah I remember now.

They all travel into an old Indian temple, most likely the same from Temple of Doom, the prequel to this magnificent film.

After a while of working together with the Indian they fought previously, they find the treasure, it's just technological knowledge.

The Indian wants all of this to himself, so they fight again, Jackie Chan wins the battle and befriends the Indian, showing that a friend can be found in anyone.

What is the ending, you may ask?

It is simply the best ending in history.

No, he is not cured, unlike the ideological mess that is Clockwork Orange.

No, Paul Allen is not still alive like in American Psycho.

No, He's not dead the whole time like in Six Sense.

No, It wasn't an old woman killing people the whole time like in Friday the 13th.

Yes, it indeed was a dance sequence.

The most perfect dance sequence in film history.

I highly reccomend this film to all.

Overall, 3/6.

-Dyna.