Review of Komodo vs. Cobra (2005) by Sir A — 12 Apr 2008

As you can see, went on a little bad movie spree today (Meaning of Life not counting). The name says it all, really - or should say it all, were it not completely misleading. The general idea is a bunch of stilted D-movie actors, playing newscasters, environmentalists, reality TV stars, and a grizzled, Zap Rowsdower-esque ex-marine/charter boat captain, go to an island so they can bust open a secret government operation, so they can show the world the truth about "Operation Carnivore" and make sure "the government people will go to jail" (yeah, there's one problem - THEY'RE THE GOVERNMENT, BUDDY).

So begins a mindless 90 minutes of well-endowed, airheaded women and wooden he-men (plus a Tim Burton lookalike and an ethnic minority) running around an island, racing against time as they try to get to da chopper before the US Army levels the island - oh, yeah, and they have to be careful of giant Komodo Dragons and giant King Cobras.

Yeah. Prepare for the worst CGI this side of Plan 9 From Outer Space, some utterly dreadful acting, continuous panning shots of an island to remind us that the action is actually on an island, a military subplot that might as well have for dialogue constant requests for cupcakes, it's that boring, and some unintentionally hilarious bad science, continuity errors, dialogue, acting and illogical writing.

Would be so bad it's good, but it's only so bad it's amusing.