Review of Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017) by Gerardistheway — 22 Sep 2017

Would it be fair to say that, even by a two-and-a-half-hour movie, that I walked out of the theater feeling a little cheated? After watching "Kingsman: The Golden Circle", I think I can say yes, it would.

Picking up sometime after the events of "Kingsman: The Secret Service", "Golden Circle" finds Eggsy (Taron Egerton) and Merlin (Mark Strong) all alone after a hack into the Kingsman files by former recruit Charlie Hesketh (Edward Holcroft) enables a series of missile strikes that leaves the private intelligence service in ruins. With nowhere else to go they turn to their stateside counterparts, the Statesmen (Jeff Bridges, Pedro Pascal, and an underused Channing Tatum and Halle Berry), who assist them in bringing to justice the one responsible for the attack: Poppy (Julianne Moore), the leader of a mysterious drug cartel (the titular "Golden Circle") who plans to ransom the lives of hundreds of millions of people to the United States government in exchange for the legalization of all forms of narcotic substances. The thoughts of the President (Bruce Greenwood)? "Pretend like we're going to give in, but we don't!" In his mind, it's a win-win - no more drug users, no more War on Drugs. But if that's not enough for you, the movie desperately tries to find time to cram in "relationship troubles", "I'm not given the respect I deserve", and "a traitor in our midst" storylines that all feel half-baked at best due to the lackluster attention they receive, as well as a few GOTCHA! moments that aren't quite so and that the movie really could've done without (*cough cough* COLIN FIRTH... *cough cough*).

I've never seen the first "Kingsman" (at least all the way through), so allow me to bring some objective criticisms against this film that in no way have to do with the original. First and foremost, nearly three hours' worth of movie is almost always too much, even in the best of cases (one of the main reasons I rarely watch my all-time personal favorite film, "Pulp Fiction"). One can't help but feel that had some of the fat been trimmed from this film it would have been better, but the bloated run time can't help making one wonder if screenwriters Matthew Vaughan and Jane Goldman simply threw every idea they had into the script and expected people to think that more is better. And speaking of both Vaughan and the idea that "more is better", cranking up the things people loved about the original - the high level of style, the humor and the kinetic action sequences - as far as they'll go and then breaking off the knob afterward has got to be a surefire route to sequel gold, right? Perhaps in terms of money-making opportunities, but it kinda sucks the soul out of the movie in the process (something mirrored in the "Sin City" series, with "A Dame to Kill For" trying to lay it on even thicker than its predecessor and failing) and doesn't leave you with much walking out of the theater. The large, unwieldy budget becomes much more noticeable here in the sense of several major action scenes (of which there are a whole gaggle) being largely CGI-based (and for such an impressive budget, you'd think they'd be a little more real-looking) and therefore losing the kinetic energy of the church scene from the previous film (one of the bits I have seen from the original). The heavy-handedness with which "Golden Circle"'s right-wing sensibilities are delivered also grow tiring at a certain point, having all of the misogyny, violence, drinking, and anti-drug preaching you'd expect from a Golden Age 007 movie. Some have pointed to the exaggerated caricature of the President as a critique of current POTUS Donald Trump, but when the visible symptoms caused by the toxins placed by Poppy into her product are introduced, you'd be hard-pressed to find a right-wing character affected, which suggests something of an opposite viewpoint.

I must admit, however, I did have more fun at this movie than I anticipated I would for having been dragged into it - there are some good jokes in the film (When Eggsy and Merlin activate the doomsday protocol, they open a safe containing "everything they need" with just a bottle of whiskey inside; "I suppose this is upper-class humor..." Strong mutters bitterly); the soundtrack, while a little too on-the-nose at times, is well-suited to the film; some of the action scenes are, despite my previous railing, pretty fun; and the cast of fine actors make terrific company for three hours, particularly Moore, whose deliciously upbeat baddie is easily the best thing about the film. We also get, among other things, an Elton John cameo that figures largely into the plot's third act, so...There's that.

If you want my honest advice? If you can't wait long enough for the next "John Wick" to get your stylized action fix, you'd be better off re-watching one of the first two and saving yourself the price of admission. Maybe check it out on Redbox if you just can't resist scratching that itch.