Review of Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017) by Dana F — 25 Sep 2017

Before I saw this movie, I said it was doomed to disappoint me. Sometimes, I hate being right. I can't tell you how much I adored the first Kingsman, but this one is just... ok. It has the same hyper-kinetic action and gleefully irreverent violence that was the hallmark of the first one, a host of fun and crazy gadgets that would leave Q drooling, a similar villain with a good idea gone bad, and Taron Egerton's Eggsy is a hero with both heart and chutzpah who you can really get behind.

But the magic that made the first one so awesome is missing in this one. It seems like a re-hash... a desperate attempt to get the band back together that doesn't quite work. While the first was both a spy movie and a parody of the spy movie, there are no winks to the audience or on-the-nose jokes in this one.

In fact, it's not really very funny at all, and the laughs it tries to get seem forced and a little desperate. Despite the nonsensical plot and outrageous scenes, the movie takes itself a little too seriously.

Additionally, I was bothered by the small things - for instance, the Statesmen (the American counterparts to the Kingsmen) are based in Kentucky... and clearly, nobody who made this movie has ever been to Kentucky.

They have mixed up Texas stereotypes for Kentucky stereotypes, which I'm sure flies just fine across the pond, but here in the States, it raises some serious question marks. And all because Kentucky starts with a K.

... *sigh*. And what's with their call signs... couldn't they think of something a little more original than using different types of liquor?? England's spies reference Arthurian legend, and in all of the USA, the only culturally significant thing we have to offer is booze? Jesus! Top Gun put more effort into it than this.

Anyway, I imagine that if I had not loved the first one so much, I wouldn't be so down on this one. I just wanted more of the fun and craziness that was such a breath of fresh air in the first one, and I didn't get it.

If you loved the first one, it's probably better to just leave this one alone... then again, this is a sequel that assumes you have seen the first, and you won't really get it if you haven't.

.. so you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Sadly, this is a film that is plagued by "sequelitis", in much the same way that the 2nd Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy was - it's inherently impossible to replicate something that was great because it was new and different.

It's the roller coaster that you ride again and again, but it's never as fun as that first time.