Review of King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017) by Crimsonmarshall — 26 May 2017

I'm a pretty big Guy Ritchie fan, but somehow I don't think he wanted to make this movie, which is one the worst I've seen in quite a while. It almost joined Secret Life of Pets as one of the only movies I've ever walked out of, but someone else was depending on me for a ride home so I just started online gambling, which was definitely a better investment of my time.

I mean, there are many children and idiots out there, and if you are one of them, you certainly may love this hollow eye-puke. It seems to assume that I will care about it's shallow anti-heroes just because they are human beings but they're not - they're characters, and you need to give me a reason to give a damn about those.

I'm someone with great reverence for the cinematic experience, but I laughed loudly and unashamedly at the film's several hamfisted attempts at conjuring pathos. It certainly was pathetic. This film is not worth dissecting because it's not even trying.

For the love of God, avoid this steaming mass.