Review of Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) by Harold H — 03 Sep 2017

Some schmuck takes a comic book, doesn't make any effort to adapt it to film, and mashes it with a ninja movie that isn't even middling for the genre, and everyone loves it just because it's Quentin Tarantino?

The opening is good (enough, expecting some over-the-top antics from Tarantino), and it remains pretty compelling through the flash-back to the hospital, her escape, the journey to Okinawa and receiving the sword from the legendary sword-maker-guy. Dramatic tension actually builds as she races through Tokyo and stakes out the club. Then begins the downhill slide.

From the first ridiculously silly shower-spray of blood from a severed limb, we get a descent from bad to worse. As much as I wanted to see her kill Lucy Liu and "Bill" (if she ever gets to him), it just wasn't worth sitting through another 20 minutes of Hanna Barbera cartoon crap. There are very few movies that I've been unable to stick out until the end, but this definitely was one of them.

One star is generous. Every critic who didn't rip this garbage apart should be ashamed.