Review of Justice League (2017) by Trevorsview — 24 Nov 2017

Now with Justice League uniting the dark Avengers, Warner Bros. attempts to unite the gods of man, the Amazons, the Atlanteans, the cybernetic world, electric currents (?) and the overseer of those gods, resulting in a joyless action sequence display.

First off, the new team members sway too far from their source material: The Flash’s superpower is supposed to be superspeed alone, no electrical currents included as depicted here. Aquaman never once talks to fish, his signature superpower, his only attention seekers going straight to his pecs. The method of bringing Superman back to life (not spoiling anything by the way) makes no sense. Plus, Batman’s technology lacks the creativity of his previous versions.

Although, the introductions are sure-fire crowd pleasers, especially Wonder Woman’s opening fight to remove a bomb from a public building. The Flash gets a neat intro too as he doodles on an unsuspecting rude guy’s face in a millisecond, and right before meeting his father in prison. Like the Flash, Cyborg’s backstory also starts off empathetic as his father Cyrus cares little about his son’s now monstrous state. Then once Superman comes back, he forgets his identity, leading to a heated entertaining battle against the newly united fivesome.

Yet in the end, the memory of the experience lasts much shorter than Wonder Woman did. The midway directing replacement of Joss Whedon shows as rock music blares at the most inappropriate moments, similarly, Zack Snyder’s initiation shows with the dreadful CGI that equals early 2000’s graphics.

The screenwriting most hurts the cinematic universe as the subplots jump everywhere with no surprises aside from the appalling Captain Obvious dialogue. Superman never properly meets the men in the new league, one Hera might bristle over due to how Wonder Woman’s status as the sole female voice is overlooked.

In fact, what happened to the whole family concept? I mean, Batman and Superman both have parent issues, Wonder Woman has mommy issues, Flash and Cyborg both have daddy issues, so what about Aquaman’s parental issues? His lack of attention consequently makes the walking fish man’s story arc the most incomplete, since we don’t see him again until a half hour after his introduction. To make the nitpicks more aggravating: Exposition repeats itself three times each until the final moments literally spoon-feed the message as if everything contained some deeper meaning. Honestly, the scriptwriting nitpick list tops the mass of Jupiter.

I now wish this movie was entirely animated, mainly to cover up the dreadful acting. The cast clearly reads off cue cards half the time, the other half of the time they pause too often, supposedly struggling to remember their lines. Henry Cavill in particular continues his reputation as a horrible, terrible performer... why bring him back? Why? They even needed to CGI his moustache away—just further evidence that Superman should STAY dead.

Justice League in general seems to worship the flesh more so than the spirit, as every actor, yes, EVERY ACTOR, looks gorgeous, even after a tread through Hades in the climax. After his resurrection, Superman’s hair, skin, and six-pack still look flawless without a sign of decomposition. The same especially goes to the staging of Gal Gadot: she wears leather tight pants, her booty framed to fill up the screen. Heck, her skirt barely even covers her butt cheeks! Meanwhile, the Flash, the skinny Jewish boy, covers his entire body under a high-tech suit, and Cyborg must survive off machinery to replace his permanently damaged African American body, as if race and religion weren’t body-shamed enough.

I’m now mortified to call these guys “superheroes,” as they do nothing besides thwart whomever blocks their path to pride. Bruce tries to tell Diana about how she brings out people’s better selves, but with the physical violence she resorts to, she does the complete opposite. They’re all teaching girls to publicly sexualize themselves, which could cause men to rape them. They’re all teaching boys to overwork their muscles, which could cause them to fall into heart failure by steroids or exhaustion. I have no recollection of hearing the word “hero” in this heap; so now comics avoid rescuing a cat from on top of a tree to celebrate an ideal fantasy where you can feel more powerful than God himself. At the same time, Justice League wants you to lower your submission to worship DC’s nonexistent gods, who stand for anything but truth, justice, and the American way.