Review of Justice League (2017) by Second G — 04 Sep 2018

Jesus Tap-dancing Christ.

I'd just like to preface this by saying that I would never, ever have watched this movie, which was clearly a pile of crap - a money grab, heartless, soulless, devoid-of-anything-worthwhile product... but RedLetterMedia did a commentary for it, and I wanted to listen to it. What I'm saying is that I had no choice.

The commentary - 5/5. The movie - ridiculously bad in so many ways. I'm finding it hard to discern what's worse between this and 'Suicide Squad'. 'Justice League' didn't physically repulse me quite in the same way that movie did, but it is, arguably, a movie with even less of a vision - which is really, really, really saying something. Everything in this film feels so meaningless. The script, if it even deserves to be called that, has to be one of the worst ever put to screen; at least for a production of this scale. RLM perfectly summed it up - it does the bare basics of what's required to qualify as a movie. It doesn't care about its characters, it doesn't even try to. It has some obligatory scenes in which characters talk because they have to talk to be characters and it wouldn't be a proper movie without those scenes. Then they get to the action - which, considering any scene that doesn't involve an explosion has had zero effort put into it, you would hope might actually be mildly entertaining. Nope. A bunch of incoherent, indecipherable, barely live-action colourful shapes that go boom.

I knew from the trailers it would be bad. I knew from the reviews it would be terrible. I guess I just didn't realise how soulless it would be. We talk about some blockbusters being "factory" products, and this is probably the best (or worst) example of that I've ever seen.