Review of Jurassic World (2015) by Jblac02 — 14 Jun 2015

I don't know how many of these shining reviews are paid shills or just morons but let me give you an honest review of this movie based on my own perspective as a picky viewer that won't waste time or money on garbage.

I went into this with extremely low expectations and I won't claim its unwatchable or the worst thing ever but this movie is seriously in the running for the worst JP movie and that says alot, considering how badly the 2nd and 3rd movies were picked apart I fully expect this one to be torn apart piece by piece by more thorough reviewers in the months to come.

I know many reviews have already said this but the acting, the plot and the character development are all awful. there is no other way to put it, all the characters are walking stereotypes and there is nothing in the way of a Grant/Malcolm to try to salvage this with their banter, it's just good guys/bad guys and a bunch of rehashing of previous ideas with even less to hold it all together.

The best way I can describe this movie is that it's not a story but it's spectacle on par with a circus act. A huge chunk of the movie is just showing off the park with its cgi crap and then a SUPER dino gets loose and causes chaos, that's basically the entire movie.

I found myself rolling my eyes several times at both the 'story' going on here and the literally cringeworthy product placement. I kid you not there's a scene where the 2 brothers have just witnessed a dino exhibit and one of them says "wanna see something really cool?" and the scene immediately cuts to a close up shot of a mercedes benz(this close up panning outward shot of the mercedes logo happens at least 2-3 more times throughout the movie) and this is not the only example going on here.

What's incredibly ironic is that the movie actually takes a shot at product placement in the first 30 minutes, using one of the minor secondary characters to mock the idea of corporations naming dinos and sponsoring the park exhibits.

But even beyond the nitpicking, the real problem with this movie is the total lack of character development and the poor directing/acting which leads to a total lack of suspense in a movie that in theory is suppose to be suspenseful and frightening.

By the time the last 20 minutes were rolling around I was thinking "this is almost over and absolutely nothing of substance has happened" right before you get blitzed by a big stupid dino brawl and an unsatisfying ending that is basically a copy of the previous endings but 'BIGGER'.

Unless you're just looking for some Michael Bayesque mindless tripe to spend 2 hours on I highly suggest saving your money and go find something better to do. This is just another cash grab using an established franchise and doesn't deserve the money it already has and will continue to rake in.