Review of Jurassic Park III (2001) by Catherine S — 28 Jul 2012

Call me crazy. Call me nuts. Call me obviously-lost-her-sanity-and-standards-after-watching-The Room. But either way, the fact stands. Jurassic Park III isn't as good as the first movie, but it's better than Lost World and I actually enjoyed this film more than both.

Taking place several years after the events of both previous films, the film stars Sam Neil reprising his role as Dr. Alan Grant, who now spends his time preaching the glory of studying dinosaurs through fossils. He's approached by a couple whose son, Eric, disappeared 8 weeks ago after parasailing over the coast of Isla Sorna. They pay him to accompany them to the island to retrieve their lost son.

First of all, I want to bring up a common complaint with the Jurassic Park sequels. I've seen quite a few critics note their belief that the effects for the dinosaurs have gradually grown worse as the movies went on. Well to that I say, no. The effects may be more reliant on CGI now with III, but they still look good so it makes up for the lesser amount of practical effects. Which is good, because the practical effects look meh. They look more goofy, like the theme park rides designed around Jurassic Park at Universal Studios. Other critics also argue that III is worse than Lost World. I also disagree. While Lost World attempted to shove a bullcrap moral down your throat the entire film, III tried nothing of the sort. Which I consider more tolerable than a poorly made lesson.

The characters are okay for the most part, though it's more painfully obvious which are the main courses for the film. The mother in this film annoyed me. While she wasn't Lexi levels of bad, she was bad. However, probably the best part of Jurassic Park III is actually the kid character Eric. It seems to be a trend that the kid characters get slowly smarter every sequel. I mean we first had Lexi and Tim, who were as dumb as driftwood and should've died on multiple occasions within the film. Then we had Goldblum's adoptive daughter, who didn't do much but did manage to kill a velociraptor with gymnastics (yeah it's stupid, but it's also awesome.) Now we have Eric, who managed to survive 8 WEEKS on an island POPULATED BY MAN EATING DINOSAURS. Man, most of the adults couldn't do that! That's friggin awesome.

But what makes me love this film is the sheer goofiness. The plot point about the velociraptors is ridiculously cheesy, near Disney levels of cheese. And the best part of the movie, bar none, is the Spinosaurus. Picture this: You want to make your dinosaur look as threatening as possible. Well, this movie brings back the Spinosaurus after it swallows a cellphone (which survives the digestive system by the way) and alerts the dead meat and survivors it's coming by them hearing the cellphone ringing inside it's stomach. That's beyond amazing....ly stupid. But entertaining.

Overall, if you like your dino movie with some goofy cheese you'll love Jurassic Park III. It's stupid and raises plenty of questions (why would you create a flying dinosaur that could possibly escape and wreak havoc on the world?), but it's nonetheless entertaining. (Real Rating:79%).