Review of Jupiter Ascending (2015) by Robert H — 25 Jun 2015

This, like EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS, is probably a film that would have benefited from being seen in theaters on the largest screen possible, yet wouldn't have been worth the price of a premium ticket in the first place.

It's only because I like the Wachowskis that I even gave this a shot. The plot is equally convoluted as it is clichéd, throwing in everything from fairy tales, science-fiction and space opera. The back story on half of the characters would probably fill several graphic novels, if it weren't for the fact that instead of characters, there are just a bunch of archetypes/stereotypes that function as exposition machines in between visually stunning, but excessive, action sequences.

Half the time I was in awe of what was accomplished through VFX/CG, but the other half was spent rolling my eyes and laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. If plot even needs to be addressed at all, Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) cleans houses for a living, but finds out that she's more important than she thought.

There were moments of respite in between the action, and a few of these is where I thought that the film might be onto something. Then it would switch back to "whiz, bang, pop" mode. If there's anything to say in the film's favor, it has some of the best visual effects I've ever seen, and the performances weren't bad.

Getting through this was like being beaten into submission at first, but at some point I just gave up and let the film take me on the ride it wanted to give me. No one's going to win any awards for this (except maybe the VFX team), although I see this getting nominated for a few Razzies.

The story is just dumb. It's also a piece of history, because this is likely the last big budget that the Wachowskis will ever see. So, why 6/10? Well, I don't feel like putting down the Wachowskis too much since they seemed to have put a lot of work into this.

It also can be an interesting watch insofar as you can laugh with your friends at how bonkers the story is. Beyond that, if you weren't already a fan of the Wachowskis or space opera in general, you're better spending your time and money elsewhere.