Review of Jupiter Ascending (2015) by Sushmeit M — 06 Oct 2015

This film fails so bad, it actually makes John Carter look stunning. Character and ideas that look like paper chits of concepts were written and randomly picked and smashed together. ("Hey I've picked up.

.. flying boots, and... lycans... and whasthis... lazer guns... you?") I've seen 6 year olds put more logic into fantasy than this movie does. The edit, ah, the edit is as tight as the buttocks of a 92 year old.

And there's only so many times the boy can save the girl in two hours, you misogyst stereotype-abusing excuse for writers. Really. So bad, this won't even end up being a niche cult film.