Review of Jupiter Ascending (2015) by Cooligan46 — 26 Jul 2015

Bravo, Mr. Wachowski. You too, you unfortunate wife-of-his. You've made yet another terrible sci-fi CGI-fest, devoid of fun, likable characters, or any good lines in the script. I will say to your credit that there are some charming parts, and the cast is pretty solid.

But why on Earth, for the main villain, would you reduce Eddie frickin' Redmayne, an Academy award winner, to an awkwardly-dressed brat who screams half his lines and whispers the other half!? And Mila's character is **** too, so it's not like she gets a free pass.

She does nothing throughout the film other than get saved, try to get close to Mr. Wolf-eared Tatum, and clean toilets. She makes Princess Peach look like Ellen Ripley! All the other characters in this film are either left without personality or ridiculous to the point of hilarity.

The lines in this movie puts the stupidity of Batman and Robin to shame. "I love dogs."? Really? M. Night Shyamalan is cringing at that line! Even Patrick Star can't help but cry at the sound of hearing that! Overall, it's a poorly-executed, poorly-acted, and boring attempt at cashing in on what made Star Wars so great.

Too bad Mr. and Mrs. Wachowski. Maybe next movie.