Review of Jungle Cruise (2021) by Jamess — 02 Aug 2021

The moment, early in the film, that the filmmakers directly rip off an Indiana Jones gag (Indy breaking into the tomb in the library, striking the ground at the same time the clerk is stamping papers) tells you just how original Jungle Cruise will be.

It's the shadow/rip-off of much better films, from the original Pirates, Raiders, the 90's Mummy and naturally The African Queen. Oh, and toss in a 101 Best Dad Jokes book. The leads have charm and charisma, but I'd rather spend a half hour with them chatting on, say the Graham Norton show, then two plus hours of this manufactured mess.

It wants to be the model of the "rousing" adventure with that friendly family feeling from the 80's and 90's. Anytime you see four screenwriters, you're usually in for a bumpy ride. The jokes that don't know when to end.

The beating a point over the head till it's flattened (if you had a drinking game every time Blunt' s characters pants are mentioned, you'd be dead by the first hour). And the score is such a CVS version of John Williams, he should get royalties.

I am bumping this up a bit solely on the performance of Jesse Plemmons, God bless him, as the German officer. Seeing him get orders from some bees (yup), is something you don't see everyday.