Review of Judge Dredd (1995) by Hassan I — 26 Nov 2011

Tosh isn't really a word I like to use. I don't think it's actually a word. But I use it with pride here. I can't really be bothered to talk about it. Since it's an old film now, Google it for the plot, if any. It does produce some laughs but for all the wrong reasons. Sly's embarrassing performance and twisted up facial expressions do entertain throughout and Rob Schieders awful "comic relief" appearance does bring a smile, but only when he is on the verge of being eaten by some wasteland cannibals. Unfortunately he is rescued. Oops spoiler.

There are also some serious plot holes. Namely where a vicious inmate escapes from a maximum security prison. How does he escape' Well by killing one man of course, within his cell. His journey out of the prison is a mystery, but he not only manages to escape but make it all the way to the Megacity, how' Who cares, time for another action sequence!

Rob Schneider makes an appearance right from the start. Pretty much until the credits finally roll. Never have a seen such an irritating, horrible specimen on film. Constantly whinging and complaining through out, as you will see.

The music, tosh. The action sequences, tosh. The acting, tosh tosh tosh tosh. And the plot' Pass, tosh isn't strong enough for that. My favourite parts however is the extreme amount of cussing in this film. Words such as, fritz, futz, Holy Drack, Creep, scumbag and my favourite Holy Crud, are banded about with no regard for the kiddies. Its perfectly acceptable to have a robot pull someones arms out, or a group of redneck cannibal's (below) but the very idea of swearing. Outrageous.

Highlights' Sly Stallone screaming 'I am the law' with his usual angled lip expression.

Downers' Rob Schneider. This guy is about as funny as waking up in an alleyway with a sock stuffed in your mouth and a used condom hanging out of your ars*hole. Well at least he went on to bigger and better things...

There is also a romantic storyline but it's so badly written and put together it never has a chance to blossom or even at best, interest the viewer. Either have sex or stop staring at each other like that, especially you 'Hersh'.

Oh yea and it has one of the worst endings in movie history. Period. Watch out for that. A moment where our hero Dredd decides to do a James Bond quip as he is about to dispose of the main baddie. This however has the worst ever voice dubbing ive heard for a long while.

I still watch this film today if I need to pass 10 minutes. I just skip to the funny parts, Sly talking or Rob just gurning at the camera. Always a joy.

4/10.