Review of Jonah Hex (2010) by Abel D — 23 Aug 2014

I know DC Comics is trying to compete with Marvel, but of all the movies that DC could invest their time and money in, why in the world did they pick this one? Any film that claims Eli Whitney invented WMD's is doomed from the start. Western films are out of date, and even in their prime, "Jonah Hex" would've made John Wayne ashamed. "Jonah Hex" is a comic-book film without the fun or charm of a comic-book film.

This is a film that can't decide what genre it is. At times, "Jonah Hex" is a Western flick, and at other times, it is a sci-fi film. The film is full of bizarre dream sequences and an out-of-place animated opening. But it's not just little things. The action and the narrative are bad to their core. And to top it off, I am not invested in the character of Jonah Hex at all. And that is not Josh Brolin's fault.

Josh Brolin, as Hex, makes the best of what he's given to work with, which clearly isn't much. He has bad dialogue, but delivers it well. Megan Fox is a cheap, talentless prostitute (and I'm not just talking about her character). The rest of the cast is rounded out by John Malkovich, Will Arnett, and Michael Fassbender. Which begs the question: How did so many big-name actors get roped in to such a crappy film?

See that big, yellow star above? You know what that is? Nope, it's not the badge for "Sheriff of the United States." It's the rating for this movie! In the age of comic-book movies, you have to make your films relevant to be competitive. "Jonah Hex" is neither interesting nor relevant. I do not recommend "Jonah Hex" at all. Unless you want to see Josh Brolin puke up a crow. Then this is the film for you.