Review of Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie (2002) by Jeffrey N — 08 Oct 2014

Just because I am not a Christian doesn't mean that I can't recognize the good moral lessons that religions, like Christianity, teach. In fact, I have been a huge fan of the Veggie Tales cartoons since their inception. My kids are too! So when the long, long, long-awaited Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie was finally released, needless to say, we were first in line. The humor, music and downright magical way Big Idea Productions pulls off such fables while remaining entertaining to both adults (even non-religious ones, like me) and children, asstounds me. It always has. Veggie Tales has become a marketing phenomenon with a myriad of toys, games, videos, CDs, etc. Can Big Idea succeed in the movie industry as well with a Christian-based cartoon? As much as I love these guys, I'm afraid not.

I was really excited about seeing this movie, believe it or not. I looked forward to reviewing it as well. I seriously point to the Veggie Tales series as an example that I, a non-religious person, can appreciate a well-told story and entertaining cast, even if they are religion-based. To top it off, my kids have always loved them and learned a lot through them. It was only fitting that we patronize the theater in support of this feature film.

With popcorn and soda in-hand, we sat down for the relatively short 1:23 production. Animation-wise, it's just as clever as ever. the 3-D computer animated food characters are superb. The comedy is rich, the characters are cute and the meaning is memorable. However, stretching out the story of Jonah and the whale into a feature-length film was entirely too much for this Veggie Tales fan to handle.

I knew something was wrong when my 2 year-old, notorious for staring at the television and reciting the dialogue in several cartoons word-for-word (you think we let him watch too much TV?), started getting bored. Yes sir, Big Idea's big idea to move to the big screen was a mistake. Nothing about Jonah was spectacular enough to warrant big screen treatment. In fact, I wonder if Jonah's constant release postponement was due to the fact that executives struggled with whether or not to release it in the theaters, an untested market, versus home video, an already proven market for Big Idea, for such a mild, lackluster feature.

If you know the story of Jonah and the whale and are Veggie Tales fans, I still urge you to wait until home video. Save your popcorn and soda budget for something less expensive, like college tuition. I predict Jonah will make its paltry $14 budget back, and then some, considering how full the theater was this weekend. But I predict massive drop-off next week, resulting in most of its money coming from the home video market, where it should have been in the first place. Nice try Big Idea, but Jonah wasn't much of a GOOD idea.