Review of John Carter (2012) by Evanrm — 24 Mar 2012

To the reviewer who claimed this film "evokes pretty much every sci-fi classic from the past 50 years" and so on: John Carter was written in 1912. That's right: 1912. It predates "every sci-fi classic from the past 50 years", you complete tool.

No, John Carter is not a great film. It's pretty shallow. It lacks heart, and Taylor Kitsch has only one facial expression. The problem is that it's all largely too easy for the titular character, but I assume that's most likely a reflection of the source text. The lead character bounces around Mars without really much consideration for the fact he's on another planet. That's a failure of the director, and he hasn't injected any breathless wonder at being lost and far from home (in a spectacular setting).

The CGI is great, as you'd expect these days, and the story passable. The plot is a little vague and weak as to the purposes of the bad guys, but it's good enough. The female lead is suitably hot, and does a good job. The ending left me wanting the lead to return to Barsoom after possibly losing everything, and rooting for the main character is a reasonable sign of a decent film.

It's clean, reasonably wholesome entertainment that the kiddies should enjoy, and the adults won't mind either. I don't know if it's been successful enough to spawn a sequel (although it hasn't done badly, despite the critics), but with another sodden Twilight teen angst-fest on the horizon, and the blandness-cum-pointlessness of The Hunger Games, it was something different and therefore refreshing.