Review of Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001) by Ross D — 31 May 2008

What makes a five star movie? In my own opinion, it is one which establishes very clear paramaters and achieves in excelling in each of those parameters. Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter is such a movie.

Shot on a shoestring and without any location sound (judging by the suitably poor lip synching/ overdub job), this film transfers the well-meaning spirit of the filmmakers straight on to the screen with no concern for the technical obstacles which would attempt to hinder its upbeat message. Simply put, this is a rudimentary production put together by a bunch of fun-loving individuals who clearly had a ball doing it, and whose joy is palpable in every shaky shot and dodgy line of dialogue.

As JC, Caracas strikes just the right balance between total gormlessness and a certain understated charisma to remain engaging and consistently enjoyable to watch.

The supporting characters are each distinctive, from the gun-toting Mary Magnum and her ill-fitting red plastic suit, to the jive-talking skinny white proprietor of the thrift store, to the striking lead vampire Maxine Schreck, to Shane McGowan lookalike blind leper singer at the jazz club, to Santo himself; the Saint of the Wrestling Ring!

The frequent action sequences are executed with an unabashed recognition of their limits, each shortcoming thus highlighted as an affectionate gag. When JC is attacked by a legion of karate-kicking atheists, rather than have them turn up in a convoy, the director has them pile out of the one vehicle. Not only cheap, but funny too.

Perhaps what seals this film's classic status is the way in which it delivers a positive message of tolerance and respect without succumbing to the po-faced preaching of any other more "serious" and "worthy" production. Speaking as an entirely agnostic freethinker, I consider it quite an achievement for any movie to leave me with the notion that Jesus Christ is positively the coolest guy in the universe. It takes only a small band of well-meaning souls to make this kind of progress.

It's called entertainment, folks. Enjoy.