Review of Jennifer's Body (2009) by Kenny N — 30 Jan 2016

I wanted to like this more, truly I did. For one thing, I'm a huge horror fan, and I'm all for the advancement of women in the horror genre on and off screen. I don't want it to be all about final girls and slutty victims.

I appreciate a strong female protagonist. And I don't just mean the "virgin who has the final confrontation with the killer." I mean someone who is able to kick ass while retaining their femininity.

The best example to date is Sharni Vinson in "You're Next." But that film was written by a man. This one here's a novelty: a horror movie about women written by a woman and DIRECTED by a woman (Karyn Kusama, director of the effective sports drama "Girlfight").

But...two things make this one a one-star failure. (I give it one star solely for the surehanded direction of Kusama during this mess.) First of all...Megan Fox. The girl's hot, yes, but she is NOT the second coming of Bette Davis, in terms of acting ability or the ability to terrify you.

I don't want to say she CAN'T act, because I have seen Tom Arnold effectively portray a child molester in "Gardens of the Night," so I believe that any actor deemed "the worst" has the potential to change minds and win hearts.

For Megan Fox, this is NOT that project. But a lot of it comes down to the failings of the screenplay of Diablo Cody. Were it not for the starmaking performance of Ellen Page in "Juno," I would completely despise that movie, because it's so full of itself you start to choke.

The same problem permeates "Jennifer's Body." Diablo Cody's writing just translates to the screen as transparently phony, not based on actual human emotion and, worst of all, smug. That appears to be her trademark (also basing on episodes of "The United States of Tara.

") Which is a darn shame, because I'm all for female screenwriters who get recognized. But everything feels forced with Cody. And she definitely doesn't have the wherewithal to set up and execute a scare properly.

So by the time this WAY too long ride screeches to an abrupt and unpleasant halt, you'll feel as though it wasn't worth it. Which to me, it's not. One day we'll have a great horror movie written, directed by, and about women.

But it's not this one.