Review of Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003) by Ryan M — 25 Jul 2011

2.0/10.

I figured that, since the original didn't suck, the sequel, by the same director, shouldn't be much worse. I was very, very wrong in the case of "Jeepers Creepers 2", which takes everything I liked about the first film and flushes it down the toilet; and takes everything that I despised, and obnoxiously throws it in my face.

The film is not scary. It isn't creepy. It's not even fun. These are three of the many things I anticipate in each horror film; but it's films like these that make people disrespect the genre. And believe me; horror films are most definitely my forte. But only when they know what they're doing; and only when they're GOOD at what they're doing. "Jeepers Creepers 2" is a film so bad that it deserves the cynicism of the world. I can't imagine any horror fan being impressed by its murky depths, but you never know.

The Creeper is back, and this time, he gets right back to work. He starts by killing off a young farm boy, in the film's sole entertaining moment; its prologue sequence. The boy thinks the Creeper is just another weird-looking scarecrow, but he'd be wrong. It was, in fact, everyone's favorite bat-winged-blowfish-hybrid in disguise.

And after that, it just gets bland, bland, bland. In "Jeepers Creepers", the villainous Creeper targeted a curious couple that discovered his dark secret. Now, he's well into his 23 day feast; in fact, it's his last day of glory. I'm told that the first film took place the day before this one. I guess this thing is a very hungry being; although I envy him for never gaining much weight from his feast.

He now targets a school bus filled with shirtless jocks and their preppy, annoying cheerleader girlfriends. The Creeper spikes the bus tires a couple times, causing the group to become stranded in the night. Then, the Creeper basically proceeds to pick-up-and-fly-away with every jock, homophobe, cheerleader, and football coach that he possibly can. But we don't care about the struggle of the survivors; because none of the characters are worth liking.

At least the first flick had its charms, but I still wasn't that into it. It had a very good start, and unlike this disgustingly bad piece of shit, it had potential to be something good. The dialogue wasn't as bad as the script written for this film, and the setting worked a bit better; even if it's the SAME SETTING. At least Florida was made interesting in "Jeepers Creepers". But then again, the night scenes haven't gotten any better...or any worse.

Even the people who go to horror films solely for the gore will be disappointed. No matter how violent your movie is, it can still end up being ugly, and that's the case here. "Jeepers Creepers 2", aside from its homoerotic atmosphere and distinct lack of scares and tension, also looks like it was shot where the sun don't shine. I have seen good nighttime scenes. Some of them don't look to bad. But man; these ones sure do.

Victor Salva needs to stop making these movies. Neither of them have been particularly good; and he can do better than this. "Jeepers Creepers 2" is an almost (and I take a moment to laugh as I add in that very "almost") unwatchable example of how a genre picture can go all wrong. I have no idea why Francis Ford Coppola produced it; or why anyone wanted to participate in it. I want this concept, and its villain, to make a good film. Perhaps someday it will. But until then, we put up with crap like this, I guess. When being drunk and/or stoned isn't enough to enjoy a horror movie, you've got a damn big problem. A damn big problem indeed.