Review of JCVD (2008) by Cooterpatooter — 21 Feb 2012

The film opens with an aging, depressed, desperately-broke Jean Claude Van Damme dealing with the disappointment and drudgery of his disappointing life, when suddenly he's stuck in the middle of a hostage situation.

The whimsical, self-depreciating, semi-autobiographical writing is a welcome change to Van Damme's catalogue, which had for so long suffered due to him taking his (mostly) crappy movies so seriously.

I love the "imaginary" moments where he jaw-jacks the bad guys and saves the day, only to cut back to the stark reality of him being just another helpless hostage. Unfortunately, the pacing is tortoise-speed and it proved lethal to my interest in the film as the minutes ticked by.

Also, during Van Damme's long monologues, given directly to the audience, he speaks French(?) and is dubbed over by a different voice actor. This phenomenon is unexplained in the film and is grating.

Mildly recommended.