Review of Jaws: The Revenge (1987) by Zane T — 20 Feb 2009

I love this movie. I love how bad it is. This is like the worst sequel ever made. (Troll 2 doesn't count because it's not a true sequel.) It's so serious but it's so bad. At least Jaws3-D had some fun with how bad it was.

The filmmakers must have thought they were making The Godfather. Otherwise, how could people have flashback memories to events that they never witnessed. I didn't know great white sharks can travel from Martha's Vineyard to the Bahamas so fast.

That big fish must have flooring it. But this is a magical shark, one that can stand up on its tail and roar. Yes, roar! I was 10 when I first saw this but even then I didn't believe it. I like watching this movie because I like seeing the different openings and endings, such as when a narrator makes a comment, but is never heard from again the rest of the movie.

I like it that different endings have Mario Van Peebles' Jake living and dying. I like that the shark is rammed and thrashes around spewing blood or that he is rammed and his freaking head explodes.

(Very cheap special effect was added after a lot of people didn't understand the original ending.) I like it that Michael Caine can go swimming in the ocean and not get wet. I like Van Peebles' "Hey Mon" accent.

"Stop busting my bungy!" I don't know what it means. I like there's no mention of Jaws 3 nor the events that happened. I understand they started filming this movie without a script. Looks like they continued to film without a script.

Just have a lot of references to the first two movies. I hope Roy Scheider requested residuals, because footage from him in the first movie is in here more often than the actor who played Sean. As for the whole Sean attack scene, wouldn't you think a cop who just got his arm bitten off would use a radio.

I mean, that boat he was one must have had a radio. Every cop I've come into contact with has a radio. I know it's 1987, but it's not that long ago. Also, could they have made the shark look any faker.

You can actually see some of the mechanics moving it. This a wonderfully awful movie.