Review of Jason X (2001) by Jose M — 08 Sep 2011

Jason X.

It hass been a while since Jason has been seen in Jason Goes to Hell, but now his time is done and returns to earth to participate in a space program. Jason X is a bad, bad movie. It is better than New Blood or Jason Takes Manhattan in acting and spirit wise, but it surpasses stupidity than both of those films. The flick is clumsy beyond redeeming bounds or value. It is incompetent, inept, insipid, gloriously moronic, and a lot more. Did I mention it is incredibly stupid by a new record? The film suffers from the obvious bad writing, characters, plot, development, cinematography, suspense, and logic, but suffers with bad special effects and that takes a toll. The special effects have always meant something in Friday the 13th flicks as we gather up to see a new way of slashing, stabbing, dicing, and other deaths. However, here the CGI is fairly obvious that a preschooler can tell the obvious cheapness and have, for whomever, memories back to the 50â(TM)s when two paper plates with strings were used for flying saucers.

2010.

The film opens up in 2010 as Jason is held captive by a small military unit with commanding officers and team of scientist bent on using him despite scientist Rowanâ(TM)s objection. They visit to transport him, but are killed off when Jason breaks free. Rowan, the final girl, reacts quickly by defeating Jason in placing him in a capsule to be cryogenically frozen. Victory, apparently not, is cut or stabbed when Jason pierces Rowan from leaving out the door. The two are frozen.

2455.

The frozen bodies are discovered after a group of students with an accompanying professor. They find Jason first, and we learned that hockey has been outlawed for some odd reason, goodbye dentist. Anyways, the students find Rowan and take both of them to a spaceship, but not before its accidents. Anyways, we go to the spaceship and learn it is filled with sex crazed students running around having fun. I canâ(TM)t remember if any of them were doing drugs, but thatâ(TM)s not the point. Among unfreezing the two, the chaos begins. I was amazed that stupidity flourishes throughout the future. We begin with Professor Lowe as he is told by a financial adviser that human from the past is worth a lot of money. However, the killer Jason Voorhees is worth a lot more. I am guessing the financial backer has seen some of the Friday the 13th films. Wanting to profit, Lowe has Jason unfrozen despite Rowanâ(TM)s objection and once again, chaos ensues. I cannot remember who, but Jason wakes up as female scientist Adrienne has her back turned and echoes of sadomasochism. This scene is amusing as it is tasteless. Anyways, Jason wakes up delivers the first and best kill since 445 years as he holds Adrienne's face in liquid nitrogen and smashing her face in bits.

Now that Jason has been brought back to life and ready to slash, I am going to make ephemeral talking about what goes on next. The crew is unaware of Jason, so it allows us to relax and enjoy the insightful view of stupidity and death. Students and staff are picked off one by one as they commit all the errors that lead to death in a slasher film. There is an attempt of resistance as a number of folks with brief personalities battle Jason only to die. I guess they did not receive the memo of Jasonâ(TM)s ability to regenerate loss skin tissue or damage. Anyways, folks are picked off one by one as they wander around in the dark yelling out names. It is no surprise. Anyways, we get the whole âTen Little Indiansâ? concept as it boils down to the final girl, but I was surprised as the flick took a few positive turns. A handful of people make it out alive only to learn the spaceship is damaged and ready to blow up. There is an improvement around here when battle takes place between Jason Voorhees and a sexy android known as the KM-14. The battle scene is loaded with laughs and excitement that doesnâ(TM)t save the flick. The film looks like itâ(TM)s clear for ending, but another twist appears. This twist is ludicrous outstretching the flick until the ending secured, uneven. Jason has landed on Earth 2, kill-k-kill.

2011/present.

I return to the first paragraphs the filmâ(TM)s flaws as it is pervasive. I could go on with a large list enough to be a single roll of toilet paper, but that will be boring. The necessity to get intricate in criticism is not required because the intelligence and structure is frivolous. Its absurdity and sullen style can be spotted within the opening. However, a Jason flicks have always perverse itself with a dark sense of humor overtime, so I forgive it on that part. At this moment, I flurry into the filmâ(TM)s positive. Its triumph relies in vulgarity and stupidity. They mesh together and polish the film near itâ(TM)s so bad itâ(TM)s good. Thereâ(TM)s a great cheap scene with the ship colliding with a station known as Solaris. Awfulness is pretty funny throughout including two gaudy scenes thatâ(TM)s a new record in my book. I cannot describe it completely as I am tempted to tell you watch the film or spoil all. However, I can allow hints and winks when we see KM-14â(TM)s envy during one scene and two sexy girlsâ(TM) valiant resistance and mutual endeavor with Jason. Indeed, this fun and humorous if you are tolerant to this behavior. I could only have hoped for a brief romanticism in the flick. Aesthetic meets schlock in bowl of blood with limps floating. An attempt to bring a sort of innocence to the young adults in the spaceship as crew and staff bite their nails. Added correctly with writing, direction, and mood, the film would have made an adult feel like a kid. I admit I found myself in this position. It is sad, however, that I must return from fantasy to finish this flick.

We are left with a too long journey as the flick tries to be serious at times with eclectic elements from better flicks. The list is not long, but I thought the following: Alien (A), Blade Runner, Hellraiser: Bloodline (D-), and 2001: A Space Odyssey (A) just to name a few. I canâ(TM)t recall if I saw any Star Wars or Star Trek influences. Anyways, we get themes from the flick, and it is unable to transform itself. Better yet, there is no clear visual to what the film wants to be. Are we supposed to get a scary film gone wrong or is this was an attempt to make a campy and silly flick with optional variation. The weigh questions burdens down the ship. Thereâ(TM)s trouble with the engine! The cinematography ruins the picture as hinted the use of a cheap digital recording camera. The engine is burning! I was offended by the sight of bad CGI as I began to ponder the comparison between this and legendary Ed Wood films. Okay forget the fire, the engine is gone! I could forgive a bad film if it is pretty funny Texas Chainsaw Massacre- the Next Generation, but Jason X misses, ah!, the mark, squeal, for a recommendable, gah!, opinion, agh!. Yet, I cannot dismiss it, phew. I enjoyed the documentary The Many Lives of Jason Voorhees and some other cool special features, but it is not enough for mainstream audience to watch. Jason fans will and the opinion will be mixed.

Other notes: you know a movie is in trouble when fame critic like Roger Ebert uses the word âsuckâ? in a review. I understand why original director of Friday the 13th Sean Cunningham produced this flick, but he should have stayed patient or keenly aware of the film. The senescent Jason has shown no sign of retiring.

Grade: (D+) film (C-) DVD.

Flick written by Todd Farmer and directed Jason Isaac.