Review of Jason X (2001) by Melvin W — 09 Sep 2011

Professor Lowe: Guys, it's okay! He just wanted his machete back! .

"Evil Gets An Upgrade".

You know what the funniest thing is about how bad this movie is? It's still, in my opinion, not the worst in the Friday The 13th series. That's saying a lot because this movie blows. If there's one thing I don't understand; it's  Friday The 13th fans. All of the movies suck. There are 3 or 4 movies, I consider watchable; that's not to say they are likable. The whole series is shit. All of them are, for the most part, the exact same movie. There's nothing on the level of suspense because we've seen the movie before, the first 9 times it was done and guess what it sucked then too. I love how the makers of these movies think anyone gives a flying fuck about Jason. There's nothing scary about a retard who won't die.

Jason X is definitely the worst idea in the franchise, but the sum total is a little more watchable then Jason Goes to Hell and Jason Takes Manhattan. I'd probably rank this as the third worst in the series. But it did give the viewers some valuable information for the future. One is that hockey is going to be outlawed in about 30 years. So everyone in North Dakota better get their hockey on hard for the next few decades. Another is that the future intergalactic researchers are going to be stupid, hot chicks with nice perky breasts, which means, we're fucked.

There's nothing about this movie that can be considered entertaining. The special effects were some of the worst you'll ever see. The acting and dialogue was right down there with the rest of the series. No scares and no suspense kind of sums up this movie pretty well, and for that matter the entire franchise.