Review of Jarhead 2: Field of Fire (2014) by Jerry C — 26 Mar 2015

Such a DERP movie, it's unreal.

One star for humor. Not because the movie send one line zingers, but because it's the worst USMC movie I've ever seen. It was more of a "wtf, smh" kind of laughter. Yay, a female Marine in the cast. Oh wait, she's a lesbian. Because all female Marines are lesbians.

Enter the box kickers. The biggest POG group of Marines you can find. Pick a newly promoted Sergeant to fill the role of convoy leader. Don't bother with an Officer or SNCO. They're obviously in short supply.

Jarhead was great. Great cast, realistic tones, and the overall "hurry up and wait" crap that Marines deal with, in and out of combat. Only one line made me laugh and smh and that was Jamie Foxx's "Campfire OOHRAH" moment.

But this sequel... It's like someone said "Hey, non combat MOS's get in the shit too! Make a movie about us!" Meh. Not even close to accurate or humorous. The lesbian, the short timer reluctant sergeant, the "make sure I get a posthumous MOH" Corporal, the "holy shit, it's the Seal Team!" moment, and the seals die before the box kickers. Stfu lmao.

If you're a Marine, watch it in the barracks with a few cases of your favorite shitty beer with some flaming hot Cheetos for a chuckle.