Review of It's All About Love (2003) by Walter M — 14 Apr 2011

In "It's All About Love," John(Joaquin Phoenix) is stopping over in New York on his way to Calgary to meet with his wife Elena(Claire Danes), a five time gold medal winning figure skater, so she can sign divorce papers. Instead, he is met by Arthur(Mark Strong) and George(Harry Ditson) who tell him that she cannot make it due to a scheduled performance in the city, getting him to agree to spend the night in the bargain. Just don't mind the dead guy at the bottom of the escalator. Happens all the time. The following day on the way to the Metropolitan, John persuades Elena to take a detour with him to Williamsburg. Even then, they are still being followed...

While still pretty much a bad movie, it is also almost impossible for me to hate something as warped as "It's All About Love." This might just be a prime example of something that sounded good when proposed but could not be made to work on the screen. The movie's central problem is its romance which is usually what grounds a movie like this but is in fact the heart of the insanity. While Danes and Phoenix look good together, it took me a while to realize their halting speech was a result of their futilely attempting Polish accents. And don't get me started on Sean Penn attempting an Italian accent.(If any of you know where I can get any of that fear of flying medicine, please get in touch with me.) By comparison, the largely British supporting cast fares well. Additionally, with the exception of an invention integral to the plot, the movie provides little insight into what the world may look like in 2021. In any case, I think Africa will have worse problems than people levitating. All I know for sure is the only places in New York City where someone will be able to smoke are Riker's Island and a barge in the East River. Come to think of it, everybody smoking is probably what's causing all of the hearts stopping.