Review of It (2017) by T T — 18 Sep 2017

It, It, It! That's all you hear online today. Yet not one single review tells the honest truth of this tragic, heart wrenching story of innocence lost forever to death's embrace by cruel acts of merciless violence.

Set in the 80s, IT is a tale of an average, every day Joe, who was handed a bum rap but is trying to get by, one day at a time. Before he knows it, he is faced with his worst nightmare...oversexed, hormonal 80s teens!  I mean, come on, the guy's sitting in his living room or whatever, chillin, listening to a little Nena..Ah Nena,  who doesn't love Luft Balloons?

And this little brat comes splashing along and litters up the place with a greasy, soggy bit of paper.  How would you feel if someone just up and trashed your place in the middle of Thrones?  But Mr Gray tries to be a good neighbor, offering him his boat back (I'd have tossed it)  and even makes an attempt at small talk about cotton candy and hot dogs. But is Georgie grateful? No! He comes across all paranoid, whining, questioning everything Bob has to say.  So Bob has a bit of a temper. So he bites the kid's arm off..Maybe that's the way they do things in the macroverse!  He isn't  flesh and bones, he's some sort of ethereal night lighty kind of guy. Maybe he doesn't know we're not made the same way he is.  Hello!  He's Pennywise, the dancing clown, an entertainer, not a cryptobiologist.  Go to New York, steal someone's parking space...you'll get a friendly "I'm gonna eat your face" --on his side of the dimensional veil, they don't just talk a big game.  I mean, its not as if it was premeditated.  He obviously feels bad about it once he has time to think it over..see how he tries to cheer Bill up with his ventriloquist act in the basement?  Then he offers the kids a hell of a good time previewing the haunted house he was preparing for Halloween, on Neibolt Street...free of charge, I might add. What do they do?  Bill has the balls to disbelieve, out loud, ruining the experience for the whole group and really hurting Bob's feelings. Then these stuck up little pricks go all home invasion in his personal space, pushing that school fundraiser garbage on him like kids do, its not like he needs anymore. Obviously Bob has trouble saying "NO" to high pressure teen sales tactics. Bob figures Bill must still be mad about that little misunderstanding with his brother and tries one more time to bury the metal spikey rod thing by incarnating cute little Georgie, to fill that void in Bill's life. But the jerk up and bolt guns him in the face!  Didn't even flinch, you notice...I'm starting to think Bill didn't really care about his brother and was just using his death as a free pass to further his own  twisted goals. Finally, in a desperate attempt to ward off these kids so he can finally just get some sleep, he takes Bill hostage, offering the others a chance to go free (sans face eating).  Its the 80s, people, these are kids, letting one of your friends get eaten vs all seven of you going to juvi was a pretty generous offer!  But once again, NO..they've obviously got a sales quota or something and realizing they're not going to make one today, they off the poor guy before heading  back to the surface to claim their next victim.

The dead beat town of Derry, where Bob had the misfortune to crash land all those millennia ago, doesn't give the guy a decent burial, a memorial or even a n obit. This is a horrible, horrible community for an out of work, trans-dimensional, soul sucking collection of lights. I think the people of Derry should just..."Wait,what?..Not dead you say? Comes back every twenty seven years? Oh well, that's still got to be an inconvenience, right?".