Review of Inland Empire (2006) by Zachary D — 29 Mar 2010

I've been putting this off for days. How do you write a review for a movie when... of fuck, I don't even know. Inland Empire pretty much even defies description. But, I consider it David Lynch's masterpiece.

I've long been a HUGE fan of his, all the way back from Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, Wild at Heart, Twin Peaks, to Mulholland Dr. But Inland Empire takes the cake on strangeness. I love all those "WHAT THE FUCK?" moments.

I love the whole atmosphere of the film, shot on standard definition digital video. It gives it a certain feel. And to be honest, I don't really care what's really going on in the film. I just love watching; this is pure entertainment.

You'd go crazy trying to figure out the plot. David Lynch himself won't explain it. Even in a documentary supplement on the DVD about Inland Empire, all he does is teach you how to cook the perfect Quinoa for 30 minutes in his kitchen.

Got to love the guy. Inland Empire is 3-hours-long, and man, what a ride. What's better than that? An extra hour of "deleted scenes" on the bonus disc. I used quotations there because they're not really deleted scenes, it's like a whole other hour of the movie was cut together.

You could've put this hour anywhere in the film. So, basically, it's a four-hour long film. And honestly, I don't see how you can watch it without adding the 4th hour (not that you actually need it, but man, itâ??s great to see even more of it).

Some of my favorite film lines of all time have come from this film, and I've been annoying people with them for years, hoping maybe it'll give them a feel of what the movie is like. My favorite is when Laura Dern grimaces and goes, "I'm a WHORE! Where am I? I'm sooo afraid!" The last part of that line is said sarcastically and sing song-ish.

There's also a recurring line in the film, "Just look at me, and tell me if you've known me before." (my favorite response to this line is from 2 women sitting at a picnic who say, "Yes.

We will do that." and then turn away.) And when the girl approaches the street merchant and says "I have heard of these watches. I know that they are magic.", and he replies, "I will sell you one if you hold my hand.

" I would hope I could get across the weirdness of the film to people through those lines. Or, how about whenever the film cuts to a room full of Rabbit people: one ironing in the background, one sitting on a couch, one getting home from work.

They say very cryptic, strange and SERIOUS-sounding things, to much applause and even a laugh track. A girl in tears is watching the show on a small television, and maybe she's even watching the whole movie on the TV.

I'll try explaining the plot. Laura Dern plays a very famous movie actress, who scores a big part, but not before a very strange meeting with a new neighbor, who tells a bizarre story. It goes: "A little boy went out to play.

When he opened his door, he saw the world. As he passed through the doorway, he caused a reflection. Evil was born. Evil was born, and followed the boy." A warning is implied that Dern will go through a door in the back alley of a grocery store with the letters AXX on it.

Laura Dern soon meets her dazzling costar, played by Justin Theroux, and her director, Jeremy Irons. At a table reading a figure appears in the background on the set, and when investigated, has disappeared.

When Dern later goes through the door in the alleyway, apparently becoming the character in the film, she sees herself at the table read from across the room. Trapped in the small apartment on the set, it is also another dimension to a parallel world, where she is a prostitute.

Her husband is a Polish gangster who deals in Polish prostitutes. A lot of the film is in Polish. She'll also be stalked by a murderer on Hollywood and Vine (the site of MANY famous Hollywood murders) where she hooks, by a screwdriver-wielding whore.

At times it seems the whole thing is the actual movie she's in being filmed, but whether or not she's trapped in some other kind of reality or actually doing that is pretty much up in the air.

The closing credits end with a great dance scene where a black singer lip-syncs Nina Simone's â??Sinnermanâ??, now one of my favorite songs. Anyways, I've really rambled on here. Let me just say that Inland Empire is something that needs to be experienced, even if I have to strap you down and cut off your eyelids.