Review of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) by Jamie I — 26 Jun 2016

We find Indiana aka Henry Jr. in the back of a trunk in 1957 heading toward a very famous army base.  You might remember this large storage unit from the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) notes that all the country's  secrets are stored here.

 Indy states the item she is looking for is highly magnetic.  It's a crate from Roswell, New Mexico.  Excellent.  When she pries the case open (similar to birth) what's inside looks very alien in nature.

 Unfortunately Indy's buddy Mac is a traitor.  We see a nice cameo from the Ark of the Covenant on the way out.  Cut to Indy in what appears to be a quaint little town in the middle of the desert.

 It's actually a A-Bomb testing site.  Those poor beautiful cars!  Indy stuffs himself in a lead lined fridge and is kicked through the desert to watch the mushroom cloud.  This was spectacular and an awesome display of special effects.

 Indy is picked up accused of being a traitor by none other than Janitor.  He must enjoy working with Ford.  Back at the university, we learn Dad and Marcus are long dead.  Dr. Jones is fired and boards a train where he is stopped by a kid riding up on his bike.

 This is Mutt Williams.  Mutt enlists the help of Dr. Jones regrading the legend of the Crystal Skull which is (I believe) Mayan in origin.  Apparently, Mutt's mother and Indy's long time friend Ox have been kidnapped because of this legend and a famed city of gold.

 Some KGB officers show up at the diner where they're talking and after punching a sporto Mutt is pushed back against some greasers.  I liked the greaser versus sporto fight.  They hightail it out of there on Mutt's Harley driving right straight through campus.

 Is it wrong that I kept looking at the girl's clothes and not the chase?  Mom's letter leads them to a cemetery (another very cool scene) where they uncover the crystal skull.  The skull as well as the skeletons in the tomb are elongated in the back.

 Jones says that they used to bind the skulls of their infants to honor their god.  Mutt remarks that God does not look like that.  In the tomb they find the crystal skull.  It is beautiful and (Jones says) not man made.

 He says it would be impossible to cut a piece of quartz like that without it breaking.  Cut to the big reveal.  Marion is Mutt's mother.  That should have been a no-brainer.  When he first talked about her he said her name was Mary.

 Moments later Marion reveals Mutt is actually Henry Jones III, Indy's son.  Who Mutt thought was his dad was really his step father someone Marion married because Indy had run off.  Cut through the car chase and the giant ants (ew) and Indy, Ox, Mutt and Marion make it to the crying waterfall, pretty cool looking.

 This leads them to an ancient city.  They have to figure out a puzzle to get in, another amazing scene.  Inside the city are artifacts from every major civilization.  Further into the city is a circular room where the remaining crystal skeletons sit.

 One is headless.  The head is pulled like a magnet onto the body and Ox states that they want to give them a gift.  The skeletons fuse into one being no longer a skeleton and the temple begins to collapse around our heroes.

 Of course, Irina wants this gift stating she wants to know everything.  And without a doubt she explodes from too much.  The four, Marion, Mutt, Ox and Indy, make it to a safe viewpoint where they watch the collapsing city turn into a flying saucer.

 Ox earlier stated that these creatures were not from outer space but they were interdimensional beings.  The saucer disappears not flying away but vanishing into thin air further emphasizing Ox's statement.

 Water pours into the hole where the city once stood almost like it was never there.  The crystal skeleton scene was my favorite of the whole film.  In fact the last twenty minutes were just awesome.