Review of Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023) by Moviefanic — 05 Jul 2023

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Disaster is what I would fear Hollywood/Disney would soon become. Generically predictable and making the same garbage we got from the past. And believe it or not, the first 15 minutes of Dial tone of density is actually amazing.

The action kicks of in 1944 when ww2 is happening and CGI Harrison Ford is collecting a sphere that turns out to be a fake, the dial of destiny, I GUESS, is actually real and he has to save his friend and Vollen get a pipe smacked into his face 70 mph, but he's thanos so that's cool.

I can also say that the CGI on Harrison Ford is MOSTLY pretty decent, but in some scenes it looks rubbery and was set at night for a reason, but it did feel like a indy movie. And after the first 15 minutes, the good stuff pretty much ends there, audiences.

And here's some "cool" thing that the star wars the last Jedi added to the film. Indy is a cold depressed old man that has NOTHING to live for and we get a plucky female character named HELL-ena who is the worst character in this series.

The main plot of this film is going country to country to get the dial and Vollen is still alive and hunts Indy down to get the other half of the dial. Indiana Jones is not Indiana Jones in this film, he is Luke Skywalker from the last jedi, he literally needs a plucky female character to show him the way and the lady tells him he's a piece of crap and how he's a grave robber and tells him constantly.

I hate this lady because like people say, she's SO arrogant and is annoying. And we learn that Mutt died because the actor who played mutt didn't want to come back to the series. And Indy gets shot and captures him and I don't want to discuss how short round, sorry, UUUUUUHHHHHHH, teddy and HELL-ena got on the plane, she asks if he has flown a plane before, he says no, and HELL-ena says that he has NEVER flown a plane before.

WHY the F*@# did you even ASK you incompitent piece of s#!T, Why!? So anyways, in the third act, Indiana Jones starts kicking some real good @$$ like the good old days. Just kidding, he doesn't do crap.

Hell-ena saves indy and Vollen gets shot and his crew starts shooting romans and vollan and his crew dies on a plane when they crash. And Indy want to commit suicide and die here, but HELL-ena knocks him out and brings him back to 1969.

The ending is kind of good with doing the same scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark, but Marion needs kisses and they both kiss and The End. And other parts of the film I don't want to mention {but I really want to} because it just came out so don't waste your money on this bombing piece of garbage .