Review of I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998) by Doctor S — 28 Aug 2012

You know, I try to eat healthy and usually do a pretty good job regarding my diet, but every now and then I have to grab a cheap bag of greasy gas station no-brand snack food just because I saw them and had to try them to learn for myself whether the taste can really be as bad as the packaging. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer is that cheap bag.

J.L. Hewitt is actually pretty good at playing the empowered damsel in distress and you could make a case she handles the role even more effectively than her Party Of Five sister/co-star Neve Campbell did in the Scream movies, but that's where the sidewalk ends. I thought the first movie was borderline-acceptable fear fodder, but 'stupid' and 'pointless' are the two most fitting descriptors for this sequel. This is the kind of insulting braindead movie where Freddie Prinze tries to escape a car chasing him by running down the middle of the road, and while trapped in a tanning booth set to maximum the cast screams and tries to break the handle instead of turning the machine off. Furthermore, supposed scares are clumsily telegraphed miles in advance by the unsubtlest soundtrack since Repo: The Genetic Opera. And as a final slap in the face for those who somehow cared about the previous 100 minutes, they tack on a completely idiotic final scene that even Uwe Boll would call a shameless hack job.

Since Jeffrey Combs has just two paltry scenes as a condescending hotel manager and the shapely Miss Hewitt wears a bikini for all of 5 seconds in a movie that 90% takes place in the Bahamas (how they managed to blow that opportunity boggles the mind), there is nothing here worth the effort. Not even Jack Black's see-it-to-believe-it early bit part as a weed-eating Rastafarian.