Review of I Melt with You (2011) by Pasha A — 27 Mar 2013

"I Melt with You" is an insufferable, derivative and dreary mess of a nihilistic movie whose cliched idea of a mid-life crisis involves a Porsche or two. If I got a kick out of self-loathing on this scale, I would watch "Mad Men." On the plus side, this all makes me feel positively well-adjusted. The movie's sole insight is the fact that as people grow older, they cannot handle alcohol and drugs like they once were able to. If only the barely developed characters in this movie thought about this before...

...Richard(Thomas Jane), Ron(Jeremy Piven), Jonathan(Rob Lowe) and Tim(Christian McKay) get together for their annual reunion, this time in Big Sur, California. While they enjoy hanging out together, their lives are otherwise a mess. Ron has the SEC up his ass. Jonathan is dissatisfied with his role as a pill pusher.(If that's how he feels, then he can volunteer at a free clinic or write a hefty check to Doctors without Borders to salve his conscience.) By the movie's own murky logic, worst off is Richard who is a high school teacher. Tim's problem is much harder to get at, only being referenced about halfway through and may somehow involve Sasha Grey. That's also the point at which any sign of a plot kicks in which involves the guys' overreaction to a promise made 25 years before, instead of being ashamed of having written such a bad piece of poetry.