Review of I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009) by Raymond W — 11 Jan 2012

Chris Columbus has made some good movies (Home Alone, the first two Harry Potters) but "I Love You Beth Cooper" is pure crap. It tries to be a balance of humor and heart but the end product is a shallow humorless movie with zero originality.

It's the basic nerd loves hot girl schtick with the valedictorian Dennis Cooverman(who looks like and probably is 30) who confesses his love for his high school crush cheerleader Beth Cooper in his graduation speech, and insults several other students in the process. This causes a chain of events that leads to the wildest and cliche-filled night of Dennis's life.

Against all plausibility, Beth and her two less attractive sidekicks Dumb Girl and Black Girl (I don't think their names are mentioned) are the only guests to Dennis and his best bud Rich's graduation party.

You know how annoying it is when you're watching a bad movie and it mentions the name of a much better one, reminding you that you could be watching that instead. This movie does that so many times. Rich is a huge movie buff who references movies by naming the title, director and the year it was made. Example: "Risky Business", Paul Brickman, 1983. It's like the movie openly admits it's ripping off classics.

Beth also has this ex-boyfriend Kevin, a crazy, mean, cokehead in the Army, because if Hollywood has taught us everything, it's that all of the brave men and women in uniform are psychopaths. And I absolutely hate how cartoonishly evil they make him. Consider the scene where he and his two unnamed sidekicks ride their hummer with "Ride of the Valkyries" by Wagner playing on the speakers (I kid you not) and comes to Dennis's house and damage much property is his rage. Seriously, the characters don't have the sense to call the cops?

The movie's climax is pretty much at the graduation speech in the first few minutes and the rest of the movie is just uninspired. We see gags like a man stepping in cow feces and tampons being used to stop nose bleeds because that's funny, right?

I can't even really call his harmless fun, I mean Beth drives drunk several times. She makes out with a guy to get booze. She even drives her boyfriend's Hummer into someone's house. Does any of this sound like something that would ever happen in real life?

I know Chris Columbus had a strong connection with the late, great John Hughes and "I Love You Beth Cooper" shows great nostalgia for those 80s classics. But in the end the movie is just forgetable and trite.

I miss you John Hughes.