Review of I Love Budapest (2001) by Private U — 29 Aug 2007

I have no idea what sort of movie 'i love budapest' is, but it's the closest match I got when I typed in 'snack bar budapest', the movie I actually wanted to review. apologies to the makers of 'i love budapest' but i'm not interested in reviewing your film.

'snack bar budapest' is a tinto brass movie with the greatest title ever. it was made in the 80s and looks it; lots of blue neon and contempo design, like a euro miami vice except instead of don johnson it stars giancarlo giannini, and instead of miami the movie is set in a dumpy italian seaside town. the club where giannini hangs out, which is only lit with blue neon but still reminded me of the korova milkbar, is called, snack bar budapest. hence the title. the entire videotape was in italian and had no subtitles, nor was it dubbed, so I have no idea what it was about. it's a tinto brass flick so of course there were loads of super hot italian chicks in fancy lingerie and red lipstick running around acting hysterical or flashing their tits. giannini basically mumbled the whole time and looked depressed. there was a young male model-looking thug, who had webbed hands for some unknown reason, who giannini brained with an iron because the guy was beating down a hooker. at least I think she was a hooker. there was also a woman who I thought was brigitte nielsen but wasn't. it's an italian movie so there was the de rigueur scene where everyone dances around together, kicking up their heels like in a chorus line, pretending to be crazy high on life. the climax had a big shoot-out at the snack bar budapest club where giannini and some old school italian heavies in trenchcoats and fedoras trade bullets with what looked like the new york dolls. giannini drills one through the ten ring of the italian johnny thunders, then rides a motorcycle sidecar back to the booby hatch where the movie opened. he finds the italian brigette nielsen naked in bed, but also dead. I guess he was in love with her, because he looks distraught over it as only an italian actor can, so he tosses her body in the sidecar with his mafia buddy. they fuel up and ride off under grey skies. the music sucked, and I had to fast-forward some parts, but the picture was letterboxed!