Review of I Know Who Killed Me (2007) by Takoundoum U — 12 Apr 2009

Ah Lindsay Lohan. The fresh-faced Disney-raised star of films like The Parent Trap, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen and Freaky Friday. She's cute, she's got freckles, what's not to like? Unfortunately her career has not gone so well since she flew the Disney coop.

Various arrests, drug problems, forays into lesbianism and public fights with her father have seen her stock fall. Now add to that the cinematic abortion that is I Know Who Killed Me. It's layer upon layer of awful.

It's a thriller that isn't thrilling, an erotic drama that isn't erotic. It's got the feel of a crappy tv show on some obscure Sky channel. It looks cheap, it features perhaps the worst screenplay ever to be greenlit ("i guess the killer didn't count on her will to live!"), directed with no skill, panache or logic by Chris Sivertson (there's a name to watch) who just throws sloppy symbolism at the screen in an attempt to make this film seem clever or profound.

But is isn't. Far from it. Lohan wanders through the part in a stoned stupor, dancing unsexually and having various limbs lopped off, building to a truly ridiculous ending, featuring the worst twist ever.

This avoids the infamous half a star rating because I had a good time watching it with a couple of buddies, but that is all. Miss Lohan, I know who killed your career.