Review of I Am Not an Easy Man (2018) by Bec215 — 02 Jan 2019

Stumbled on this on Netflix. This is billed on most sites as a "romantic comedy" - but this is much smarter, more nuanced, and better acted than a run-of-the-mill rom-com. It is not a slapstick/goofy comedy. It has real humor, but more subtle...it's humor found in the background of the scenes, sets, and the extras... it's humor found in the mundane - the best form of social commentary. It's a credit to the writer (she is also the director) and female lead. As a woman, I can honestly say I was shocked at how seeing the daily lives of women appear when you swap genders... it's hard to explain, but this was as eye-opening for me as a woman to see my daily routines, struggles, and feelings play out in a way that seemed absurd in many cases - things that, when you live it every day, you don't notice. Of course hair and grooming is low-hanging fruit for any gender-switch comedy, but in having to explain to my husband the subtext to one character's "manicured" chest hair, which is ridiculous as presented - made me realize just how ridiculous it is for women. But it is also simple things like perfume advertising featuring sexualized young men, or TV in the house where the tv show they're watching while talking shows the camera linger uncomfortably over a young male body... it's cringe-worthy, and made me realize how desensitized i've become to those same tactics when it's women that are the object of the lens. I will also never look at a man in short pants the same way again!

On the flip side, I appreciate that throughout the film, the case is quietly being made that the best path is not a binary one - it's moderation, collaboration, respect, and self-awareness. A young waiter in one scene sports a "The Future if MALE" tee-shirt... reminding us that simply 'turning the tables' and flipping the power balance won't solve anything.

There has been a crisis in the last century, that's seen society tell men that having warm, affectionate, emotionally-complex relationships with other men is at best not masculine. I appreciated the director showing the sadness and longing of a broken friendship between men, without playing it for laughs. Depression driven by lonliness among adult men is at an all-time high, and denied access to loving, supportive social networks it's easy to see why.

I docked a point because I felt the opening 10-15 minutes could've been tighter and felt more like the "What Women Want" sensibility - which isn't the vibe of the movie overall. But it's a day later and I'm still thinking about it, so clearly it's not a huge issue.

The final scene is a twist, and further separates the film from others of its supposed genre. Really well done.

Here's the best endorsement I can give: My husband came into the room halfway through, and sat to watch... now he wants to see the full movie again, this weekend. We ended up discussing and debating - and, honestly, me explaining certain things that were represented that he missed - for the rest of the night. Name an Adam Sandler/Jennifer Aniston rom-com that can do that.