Review of Hustlers (2014) by Patrick L — 28 Oct 2013

"Stupid and nasty hillbilly "Pulp Fiction" clone".

DVD Movie Review: Pawn Shop Chronicles.

Date Viewed: October 26 2013.

Directed By Wayne Kramer (The Cooler and Running Scared).

Written By Adam Minarovich.

Starring: Brendan Fraser, Matt Dillon, Paul Walker, Vincent D'Onofrio, Chi McBride, Elijah Wood, Lukas Haas, Norman Reedus, Thomas Jane, Kevin Rankin, DJ Qualls, Pell James, Sam Hennings, Michael Cudlitz and Ashlee Simpson.

After it's release nearly two decades ago, Quentin Tarantino's "Pulp Fiction" (arguably my favorite movie of all time) is still getting imitated with clone after clone after clone after clone. It was a landmark film that stood the test of time because of it's great mixed chronological order, great characters and great dialogue. "Pawn Shop Chronicles" is essentially "Pulp Fiction" done by idiots.

The heart of "Pawn Shop Chronicles" is General Lee's Pawn Shop owned by Alton (Vincent D'Onofrio) and his friend Johnson (Chi McBride). The pawn shop is having a busy day because it has a barrage of customers each of them with a story to tell.

In the first story "The Shotgun", it tells the story of two meth addicts Randy (Kevin Rankin) and Raw Dog (Paul Walker) trying to rob a meth lab. The problem is that they don't have a gun, however they find bows and arrows. The idiot duo then use the bows and arrows to rob the lab and then backstab meth producer Stanley (Norman Reedus).

In the second story "The Ring", newlywed Richard (Matt Dillon) is shocked to find his missing wife's wedding ring at General Lee's. After squeezing information out from Alton, Richard dumps his new bride (Rachel Lefevre) and he goes searching for the culprit responsible for destroying his life. The culprit turns to be Johnny (Elijah Wood), he's a porno addict living in a farm containing a menagerie of naked, kidnapped women shackled like wild animals in cages. Richard then subjects Johnny to extreme torture, he pries open his mouth with four fish hooks and he threatens to knock his teeth out with a hammer if he doesn't tell him where his wife is.

The last story "The Medallion" involves a struggling Elvis impersonator Ricky (Brendan Fraser) who gets dumped by his girlfriend Theresa (Ashlee Simpson) and he's being given one last chance to redeem his career when he performs at a carnival. Remember the captive women from the farm? Well, their now freed from captivity, they show up to the carnival (still nude) and they are wrapped in American flags.

In one scene, When the two meth addicts use a pick-up truck to rob the meth lab, the pick-up truck has a bumper sticker that says "At Least Jesus Didn't Write BATTLEFIELD EARTH". Well, at least Jesus didn't write "Pawn Shop Chronicles" which is one of the nastiest and silliest movies of the year. "Pawn Shop Chronicles" was directed by Wayne Kramer (The Cooler and Running Scared) and written by Adam Minarovich (who is a regular on TV's "The Walking Dead"). I don't know what their trying to accomplish here, but if you think your movie is better than "Pulp Fiction" let me tell you something, "Pawn Shop Chronicles" makes Larry Bishop's awful crime ensemble "Mad Dog Time" (1996) look like a groundbreaking masterpiece.

What a waste of a good cast. What a waste for Brendan Fraser. Now there can be a good movie where he can play an Elvis impersonator, but unfortunately he chose the wrong movie. Fraser I understand you have financial problems recently but come on, don't let a nasty divorce settlement and angry animals destroy your movie career. Find better scripts.

Perhaps there was a clever idea somewhere in "Pawn Shop Chronicles", but it's buried underneath a pile of idiotic characters and nasty violence.