Review of Hudson Hawk (1991) by Alexandra W — 09 Jan 2011

An inordinately useless affair. When I heard showtunes and Bruce Willis would be involved, I had high hopes, but the movie is not really about that at all. It's about... well, it feels as though Bruce Willis and a bunch of his friends got together one weekend and wrote a script in four hours about a cat burglar and then got a bunch of money together and started filming it. And then, while they were filming it, they decided it needed more intrigue and added some pre-Davinci Code Davinci Code BS. And then, Andie MacDowell and Sandra Bernhard showed up and Andie said (in a poorly disguised Southern accent), "Does this picture need a sexy nun? Because I'd love to add that to my resume." And Sandra said, "Do you mind if I bring a couple of crazy outfits and chew some scenery in a few scenes?".

And because none of these people actually practiced any of it before it was committed to celluloid, all the dialogue's pacing drags horribly. That's probably the worst part: The way everything's supposed to be madcap but feels as though it takes a decade to get anywhere.