Review of Hudson Hawk (1991) by Johnny T — 10 Dec 2012

This one may be just excessive enough to develop a cult following. It also proved quite popular with German audiences, for reasons we've been unable to fathom. Despite all of its failures of wit, sense, and pace, the film does most effectively flaunt the millions spent on it. To say this megamillion Bruce Willis vehicle doesn't fly is understatement in the extreme. After a few whimsical moments (which come before the credits) this Joel "More explosions!" Silver-produced gobbler flaps and flops to oblivion. Perhaps because they are mostly wordless, Willis comes off best in the painstakingly storyboarded "Mission Impossible"-like heist and brawl scenes; elsewhere he gets over by smirking chimpishly. This unspeakably awful can make an audience a little crazy. You want to throw things, yell at the actors, beg them to stop. The inane action takes place in splendiferous settings. It ends up choking on a never-ending stream of inept gags... A worst-case scenario of wackiness gone out of whack.

VERDICT: "Not So Hot" - [Negative Reaction] These films are truly terrible films. They are not the worst things ever made, but they are definitely awful and should not be seen by anyone. (Films that are rated 1.5 or 2 stars).