Review of How to Be a Serial Killer (2009) by Alvaro S — 29 Oct 2009

I'm obsessed with serial killers, and always wanted to be friends with one. I mean, how awesome would it be to have a couple beers with Jeffrey Dahmer? (Without the gay sex and killing of course.) So, they made a movie about my dream, as charming, guy-next-door serial killer Mike takes a young video store clerk named Bart under his wing and teaches him the joy of serial killing.

The movie plays more like a black comedy than straight-out-horror, making it perfect for children! I mean, how can you take it seriously with the upbeat wacky jazz soundtrack playing the whole time? The movie even starts out as an informercial, with Mike hosting, and each chapter begins set in the inforcommercial with another lesson in serial killing.

You learn great things such as how to dispose of corpses, methods of attack, and planning your escape. All told to you with a smille. And rules - such as "Never rob your victims, because then you're just a criminal who kills people on the side", "Never rape, because then you're just a rapist and that's totally crossing the line", and "Never kill anyone you know".

And the movie also plays like a documentary, with all the characters being interviewed by the cameraman after their scene, so you get to see them being candid. It's great how much Bart looks up to Mike, like his hero, and often tells the camera so.

See, Mike isn't outright evil, he's trying to rid the world of bad people so the world can be a better place. Like people who ride your ass when driving, people rude to help, and of course, anyone who witnesses the crime.

It's funny when Mike commits a murder in his house, and him and Bart are taking the body to the car in broad daylight, and there are 3 witnesses, who Mike must then all kill. It's funny when Bart says "How are we going to fit 4 dead bodies in your car, Mike?", and they end up propping up 2 of the corpses in the backseat to look like passengers.

Seriously, they need to turn this movie into a sitcom.